“I am a princess, Grandma!”
I was thrilled to hear these words from my adorable granddaughter who will be turning three next month.
She was wearing a colourful, pink dress I bought her and a homemade paper crown on her head.
This is the same little girl who has rebelled against wearing the dresses I buy for her, especially if they are pink, so you can imagine how excited I was.
What’s so extraordinary about this scenario, you ask?
It brings up the subject of nature vs. nurture as my granddaughter is being raised by lesbian parents. (My daughter is her biological mother.)
It was Mark Twain who jokingly said, “Clothes make the man…” It basically implies that people will judge you according to the way you dress.
Does that apply to daughters of lesbians?
I can’t actually control the nature part (although I am her biological grandmother), but I sure as heck can try to control or influence the nurture part.
The age-old nature versus nurture debate explores whether a person’s development is primarily shaped by genetics (nature) or by environment and upbringing (nurture). This debate becomes particularly nuanced when considering the development of a daughter raised by lesbian parents. The key question is: How much of her identity, behaviour, and social development is influenced by her genetic predispositions versus the influence of being raised in a same-sex household?
From the "nature" perspective, a child's temperament, intelligence and even certain behavioural tendencies are largely inherited. How wonderful, as she may have inherited some of my most endearing attributes and idiosyncrasies!
The subject of epigenetics, which studies the changes in genetic expression without altering our DNA, can examine how environmental factors and other influences affect how genes are read and used by the body. However, I don’t think there’s any concern about my granddaughter’s gene expression being impacted at her tender age. So I can safely assume that we can’t mess with nature at this point.
Having said that, her genetic traits are shaped by her biological parents' genetic makeup, regardless of who raises her. For example, her cognitive abilities, susceptibility to mental health issues, or natural disposition toward introversion or extroversion may be biologically rooted. In this view, having lesbian parents doesn’t fundamentally alter her intrinsic traits, because her biology remains consistent regardless of who raises her.
So I am confident that my darling girl will also have inherited my daughter’s inherent traits and personality as well.
On the other hand, the "nurture" perspective argues that environment plays a crucial role in shaping personality, beliefs and emotional well-being. A daughter raised by lesbian parents is likely to experience a more open-minded and inclusive household culture. Research shows that children raised by same-sex parents are just as psychologically healthy and well-adjusted as those raised by heterosexual parents. In fact, these children may benefit from higher levels of empathy, tolerance and communication skills due to the progressive and intentional parenting styles often adopted by same-sex couples. Her emotional resilience, worldview and interpersonal skills may be deeply influenced by the nurturing environment her parents provide.
Importantly, concerns that children raised by lesbian parents might be confused about gender roles or sexual orientation are not supported by empirical evidence. Numerous studies have demonstrated that these children are no more likely to identify as LGBTQ+ than their peers raised in heterosexual households.
A daughter raised in a loving, supportive home, regardless of her parents' gender or sexual orientation, has every opportunity to thrive.
That is excellent news as I have bought her a sparkly and sequined princess dress and crown for her birthday present!
April Lewis writes monthly on seniors' issues and perspectives for Peace Arch News.
